You ever just sit back and wonder what a true degenerate looks like? Well let me tell you. A true degenerate sits at the kitchen table at almost 1 am, just have gotten finished drinking a few delightful Busch Lights with some pals, writing a gambling blog about the Women’s NCAA tournament. Am I some gambling savant? Am I some expert on women’s college basketball? Do I even avid watch women’s basketball regularly? The answer to all is pretty simple….no. Unfortunately I am just a creature that can’t stand not getting in on the action. So fuck it. Let’s get weird and bet some women’s basketball.
Disclaimer
Before we dive into this dark abyss head first I feel it rather important to state one tiny little fact…..I have maybe watched 4 games all year. So these Women’s NCAA Tournament picks, as few as listed, are based solely on statistics, and probabilities I found online. Now I’m not completely inept, I do follow the sport more than the average neanderthal, and know the top players but that’s about it. If you came here for locks, take a hike, but if you came here for a few laughs and to follow me along this wild path of betting for nothing more than fun, the get in bitch, we’re gambling…….get it? Mean Girl reference? No? Okay whatever let’s move on.
The somewhat, not really at all, locks of the day
Iowa +15
Iowa comes into this game with arguably the best freshman in the country. Everyone has seen the Paige Bueckers chick, and rightfully so, she’s an absolute monster for UCONN. But Caitlin Clark for Iowa has quietly been the most dominant freshman, maybe even overall player. Clark averaged 27.8 ppg, had 8 double doubles, and 1 triple double in the regular season including only one game where she didn’t score in double digits. That stat line would be crazy for any college player, let alone a freshman.
This Iowa team has been hot in the tournament winning each of the prior games by an average of 14.5 points. Prior to this run the Hawkeyes have had they did get beat by Maryland in a 20 point blowout, but I don’t care. Iowa’s offense is a juggernaut, and keeping them under 80 is a feat in itself, so unless UCONN puts up 100 on them, I like them to cover.
Stanford -14
Missouri State has been playing well, and had success this season sporting a 26-2 record including a perfect 16-0 conference season. Heading into this game Missouri State is just running into a buzzsaw. I don’t like the fact that the they have played 13th and 12th seeded teams to get this far, because as we’ve seen the women’s basketball league is extremely top heavy. Going from playing the 13 seed Wright State to the 1 seed Stanford should be illegal, and banned. This is going to be one of those scenarios where a boxer enters the ring confident after winning a junior championship, and then gets hit by a true heavyweight and realizes all their hopes and dreams were a lie. I
almost feel bad for Missouri State in this situation. Stanford really doesn’t have a high powered offense that is going to score in the high 80s or 90s, and did only beat the 8 seed by 11 points last game, but I like this for a let down spot for Missouri State. Take Stanford. Fun fact, Stanford knocked them out of the sweet 16 in 2019 also.
Baylor -13
Idk if any of you 3 readers watch Sportscenter, but this Baylor team is scary. I have 0 doubts that this team could beat a handful of division 1 men’s teams. Michigan has had an extremely up and down season, and just upset 3 seed Tennessee by 15, but Tennessee isn’t Baylor. Hand up, I didn’t do much research on Baylor’s statistics, but I’ve seen them with my own eyes on TV a couple times, and I’ll take them every game and feel good about it. I’ll boil it down to this. One team is terrifyingly good, the other has upside but is inconsistent. Give me the terrifying one. I’ll walk into a dark alleyway with those girls by my side any day.
Wrap up
Well boys and girls, what an adventure that was. We just busted out a gambling blog about the women’s basketball tournament, and I for one am proud of all of us. It’s not easy being this dedicated. It’s not easy being a gambler leading the charge for betting on women’s games, but here I stand, like William Wallace, ready to run head first into this battle. Some call me a hero, some call me a savior, others just call me Terry. In one short blog I think I just became the foremost leader in women’s basketball gambling…heavy lies the crown that sits on the kings head…bow down to me you simpletons who can only find winners in men’s games.
Y’all, I might just mess around and find myself on ESPN with the greats Rebecca Lobo, and Maria Taylor here soon. Just hanging with the crew, chillin, spitting out winners….I mean if Katie Nolan can get a job there, surely so can the king of women’s basketball gambling, right?
Alright let’s stick a fork in it, this Women’s NCAA Tournament masterpiece is done…..oh and side note. If any of these lose and someone tries to add these to my W-L record, I’m going to be appealing the decision, and protesting…..if they win tho you can bet your ass I’m claiming them.
